Mary Lou O’Day

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Mary Lou O’Day was born to Elmer and Mary Lou Caughman on May 6, 1931 in a little town called Asher, Arkansas. Her father worked as a farmer, and her mother delivered babies and was an expert seamstress who was described as being “tough as nails.” She had four living siblings, Nelson, Reece, John, and Elizabeth (Betty). A child of the Great Depression living “down in the holler,” Mary Lou learned early how to be both resourceful and creative, talents which carried with her throughout her life. She would scavenge in their garden to find green onions or other food, and told stories of making dolls and toys out of sticks, rocks, and other earthly items. Her husband would later poke fun at her and tell her that she couldn’t keep shoes on because she was from Arkansas. Her brother bought her her first baby doll as a small child, which was a very special gift that she treasured and spoke of fondly throughout her adult life. As a little girl with a wardrobe made solely by her mother, she received her very first store bought dress at the age of 12 for her 6th grade graduation and said that she felt “so special.” Mary Lou knew how to make beauty from the things surrounding her, and even collected her own flowers to craft her own corsage and boutonnière for prom.

Many of her childhood stories involved her grandfather, of whom she was particularly fond of. He fought for the North in the Civil War at the age of 14, and lived with her family during his later years. She told the story of how he’d use a pocket knife to scrape apples into tiny slices and eat it with his toothless grin. She always looked forward to seeing her grandfather when she came home from school. She attended a one room school, which she walked to with her brother John down a washed out trail. She recalled the teacher throwing beans in a pot so that the kids who didn’t have enough food would have something to eat that day. Another fun school time memory was her brother Reece’s father-in-law dressing up like Santa at the school. As children of the Great Depression, they never celebrated birthdays or Christmases. When this Santa brought them a piece of hard candy or fruit, it was a very special occasion.

At home, her family owned a cow and chickens for milk and eggs, but they never ate the meat unless they had special company. She recalled the first time she went to see a movie in town with her sister Betty, who also treated her to her first taste of ice cream, of which Mary Lou wasn’t a fan. (Who doesn’t like ice cream?!) She spoke highly of all of her siblings, describing them all as very kind and loving people. However, her older brother Nelson was her favorite. She spent some time living with him and his wife Mildred as a child, and loved every moment of it. Mildred combed her hair and topped it with a ribbon, telling Mary Lou that she wished she was her little girl. She felt very special during this time in her life.

Mary Lou was a smart girl, and was even offered a scholarship upon high school graduation, but wasn’t able to attend due to finances. She was a lifelong learner who had a collection of many books, including nursing books, that she read throughout her life “just to learn.”

Mary Lou met her soulmate at the age of 16, when she was introduced to an energetic and handsome Irishman while she was out on a date with someone else. Shortly after their meeting, he ran into her outside the post office and asked her to go on a date with him instead. The rest is history! She married the love of her life, Gerald “Jerry” Arthur O’Day, on July 17, 1948 in Gardnerville, NV at the Lutheran Church. They welcomed their first 3 children, Jim, Dan, and Sharon in Westwood, California before they purchased their first home in Sparks, Nevada where they welcomed their fourth child, Donna. Mary Lou dedicated her entire life to taking care of her husband, raising her family, and helping with her grandchildren. She was unique and one-of-a-kind. She was open-minded, non-judgmental, and accepting of anyone who offered her the same graces. When her family needed her, she was there. Many of her acts of love and kindness were given in private, and she always ensured her loved ones were taken care of. She was the ultimate Matriarch.

Jerry and Mary Lou retired and moved to Jerry’s hunting grounds in Fruitvale, Idaho in 1989 where they lived in a beautiful red house on a hill, surrounded by green pastures, rolling hills, and many friends who inevitably became family throughout the years. She enjoyed perusing local yard sales, spending time with her best friend Lorraine, tending to her gardens and flowers, and even found peace in pulling weeds. However, without a doubt, her highlights were whenever family came up to visit. Her soul was fueled by time with her loved ones. She’d send them on their way with her delicious canned jams made from her fruitful raspberry and blackberry bushes. She was a fantastic cook who knew how to make the best homemade gravies, and would ensure the dinner table was filled with one of her made-with-love specialties.

In her final years, she moved back to Sparks, Nevada to be closer to family. She enjoyed getting to meet and spend time with her countless grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. After the passing of her soulmate a few months short of their 75th anniversary, she was in the company of her grandson David, who spoiled her with any meal she requested, and tended to her every need. She always held a special relationship with David, and the entire O’Day family is so grateful to him and the love and care he provided to her when she needed him most.

On February 23, 2024, with a house full of family and her granddaughter Rachel holding her hand, she transitioned to her next chapter. Her husband of 74 years stood by the pearly white gates of Heaven and sang, “Sweet Mary Lou, I’m so in love with you!” to welcome his sweetheart back into his arms. While she is missed greatly here Earth-side, we find comfort in knowing that she’s exactly where she wants to be, with the man she loved so dearly. She is reunited with her husband Jerry, her mother and father, her siblings, and her son Jim. We will think of her when we see wild onions growing, when we bite into juicy raspberries and blackberries, and when we run barefoot in the soft green grass. Until we see you again, Sweet Mary Lou. We love you!